


Not a Slave

by Rens_Knight



Series: In the Burning of the Light [4]
Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic
Genre: Gen, Literature, Sci-Fi, fan fiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-14
Updated: 2017-01-14
Packaged: 2018-10-23 04:06:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10711851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rens_Knight/pseuds/Rens_Knight
Summary: Tarssus Kallig wasn't exactly on the side of his former Sith master, Darth Zash, when she usurped the body of the Dashade Khem Val.  Then again, when it comes to Val, Tarssus isn't exactly in a comfortable position withhim, either...And perhaps a sharp tongue veils a sharp spirit of an entirely different kind.





	Not a Slave

"Oh, _do piss off_ , Zash!"

I had had it.  I had bloody well had it with the body-snatching witch of a former master that had had the temerity to try to eject my soul from my body and ended up half doing the same to my Dashade bodyguard-- _damn it, admit it, Tarssus.  The word you're looking for is servant_.That didn't sit well.  But that paled--and that wasn't even an excuse for myself; it was the damn _truth_ \--that _absolutely_ paled in comparison to the vile _thing_ Darth Zash had done, enslaving another being right from inside his body.  She may have failed at taking me, but what--I was supposed to rejoice that _this_ was how I'd been spared?

Khem Val still had _some_ control over himself--but Zash had an irritating way of injecting herself into conversations at the drop of a hat, even distorting the hulking Dashade's voice to the ears of those who heard through the Force, with a warped overlay of her own.  This time, Zash had cut Val off mid-sentence as I conferred with him on our next surface deployment.  Never mind the conversation itself--watching Khem Val's body writhe yet again with the torment of having his spirit displaced from its position controlling his own body...

 _I had had it_.

"Or what, Kallig?  'Murder and mayhem await'?" Zash needled from within the Dashade.  Oh yes, that.  Murder and mayhem await.  I'd saved that choice line just for her during my apprenticeship as she sent me off on yet another of her errands--sarcastic, deliberately overweening insincerity, of course, played up for her benefit, but to my amusement, she had fallen for it completely, seeing exactly what she expected to see.  That is, until she bound herself to my crew and got a look at how I really operate.  "You wouldn't harm a nonexistent hair on this monster's head--I know you well enough to know _that_ by now," she smugly declared.  "And 'piss off'?  Really?  That's rather below your usual level of rhetoric, isn't it?"

"Maybe I felt like taking a break," I retorted with a nasty smirk of my own, not too hard to summon in present company.  " _You_ certainly struck me as a prime opportunity, since I seem to have to explain time and time again that it is _incredibly_ rude to interrupt while other _people_ are talking!  Perhaps I thought this time I would try bringing my rhetoric down to the crude level that just might begin to sink in.  But I can see that even _that_ falls beyond your comprehension!"

"Do you _really_ want to risk going it alone, Kallig?" Zash sneered.  True, Khem Val's face always had a rather nasty look on it, but the combination of that warped voice and what she did to his visage made the expression twice as ugly.  "And I don't _just_ mean depriving yourself of my counsel, which a neophyte like you cannot do without."

Oh, _so_ deeply wounded.  I snorted.  Yes...snorted; I've no shame admitting it.  My eyes narrowed.  "You were very keen to talk up my abilities when you thought it might benefit you, but now--funny how that works.  Thinking to keep me off balance so I can't keep you in check?  Think again.  It truly amuses me that you think I ought to wallow in self-pity just because my Force-sense is clouded, or so you call it."  

Factually, she was correct: my sight of the world around me through the Force was quite beneath that of which many Force-wielders were capable.  It had taken one Aloysius Kallig, spirit of my distant ancestor, to alert me to Zash's deception, for instance.  There was much I had yet to understand about why my own spirit walked half out of joint with the world of the present.  Zash likely knew--probably explained why she thought she could dislodge me so easily, _not_ that I was about to ask _her_ for advice on that most personal of mysteries.  But her little attempt to appeal to some supposed sense of insecurity wasn't about to work.  For I had found myself less stirred by such things as I came into my own understanding of the Force.  That, I suppose, was quite new for Zash.  It certainly wasn't standard operating procedures for the halls of power.

"True," I conceded, lazily waving a hand, "I would make a pitiful excuse for a Miraluka, but the fact is I am _grateful_ to be capable of things that most humans can only dream of.  And what I can sense of living things and their minds is what I _know_ intimately, clouded or not.  Ah...but then I suppose you must have the desert slave pens of Dromund Fels confused with a luxury storm-spa on Dromund Kaas."  

Zash--Khem Val--both, perhaps, blinked at that.  Quite the social faux pas for the upper echelons, to mention one's own low birth in a context other than disdaining it.  That sadistic lord on Dromund Kaas hadn't been able to see that when I refused to _lower myself_ to assist in his program of _experimenting_ on slaves like I had once been, my sense had been an entirely different one from the allusion to social class he expected.  No, I _remembered_ where I came from, and I would not betray those who, even as a Sith lord, I still acknowledged as my own.

Indeed, yet again, I was _far_ from the mistaken one here.  "That's a terribly drastic error to make," I chided, "to think I'm only _just_ having to learn to fight to survive.  Do you think I didn't have to combine the Force and my wits to endure, even as I grew up?  I am _far_ more cognizant of my true boundaries than you are, Zash, and well aware of when I require other uses of the Force...or without it...to accomplish my goals.  I just dare you to try me, if you're fool enough to think I am not the expert at wielding the balance of gifts I am given, and _not_ given."

"Shall I interpret that as a direct order, 'my lord'?"  Before I had time to even flinch at the naked threat to launch herself and thereby Khem Val at me, Zash steamrolled her way right on.  " _As_ I was _saying_ , you seem to be forgetting that your dear Dashade is quite keen on adding your Force energy to the menu, and quite frankly, your unnatural reticence to take the necessary measures to secure your-- _our_ fortunes--doesn't make it hard to see why."

I glared.  "Khem Val's dietary preferences happen to be _our_ little problem to deal with, not yours.  Kindly take your 'concern' and space it, _proverbially_ speaking."

"So you truly _wouldn't_ life a finger against this beast of yours?"  Zash...chuffed within Khem Val, for lack of a better word.  I suppose it was as close as the Dashade form could manage to a snide laugh.

"Oh, wouldn't _you_ love an easy way out," I snapped, my indignant finger stabbing at her stolen face, "to see your stolen body slain, blame it all on Kallig the 'heretic,' and earn yourself a reprieve with Thanaton for eliminating me or otherwise exposing my 'anomaly' while your Force ghost floats free of Khem Val and ready to latch onto the next unsuspecting soul!  No, I'll not be giving you _that_ , neither by allowing my own death at your stolen claws, nor by striking down Val simply to be rid of your noxious presence and risking your noncorporeal essence reeking up the area."

The Zash-distortion over Khem Val's voice grew vomitoriously sweet.  "And if this creature _did_ lash out at you?" she pressed.  "What then?"

"I'm _far_ from a Jedi, Zash, whatever unwelcome thoughts you may have about my apprentice and my methods."  Truer words I could hardly speak, though I knew how precious few in the Sith hierarchy would bother to make the distinction.  "With _just_ cause, have no doubt I would slay Val.  But _your_ presence and _your_ actions are most certainly an _unjust_ cause."

I would kill for mercy.  I would kill when there was absolutely no hope, as I had the enslaved cybernetic atrocities Lord Grathan had inflicted on innocent conscriptees of the Sith Empire, for no worse slavery existed than the utter destruction of the will before which death itself cowered.  Rarely had I left such a trail of destruction as I had in Grathan's laboratories...a distraction that, as it turned out, made the way for a Sith pureblood by the name of Rûmaz to finish the job and slay Grathan himself.  I would not shed a tear for Grathan--the only tears deserving to be shed had been those of the poor soldiers' commanding officer when I had taken her aside where no one could see, softly placed her trembling hands into mine, and whispered to her the entire nauseating truth.

But I had _not_ given up on Khem Val.  He still lived, still retained his connection to the surface of the Force.  Him I _would_ see freed.

" _Damn_ you, Kallig--" Zash snarled, seeing her match met.

"I would say 'likewise,' except that I know it can only flow one way, Zash, from me directly to you.  You're still _bound_ , 'milady,'" I reminded her, queasy not so much for Zash as I was for Khem Val, whose oath was the source of their indenture.  "It's _you_ who can't lift a claw against me, and as I _said_ , you can rest assured I will find a way to rid myself of you for good, as soon as I spot the opportunity to expunge you to where you can _never_ attempt a stunt like this again, on Val, on me, or _anyone_ else!  Now.  I was in the middle of a conversation with Khem Val that we would _very_ much like to complete without interference.  _So piss off_."

With that, the Dashade's great body shuddered, restoring to his eyes a more primitive state of malice--but one, at least, native to the body it inhabited.

" _Why do you do it, Little Sith?_ " the enormous being growled in his own language, but even with my clouded mind-sense, I still caught the meaning of his words through the Force.  " _She is right.  You are impure, your Force wasted.  If it weren't for the oath, I'd drain you in an instant!_ Know _that, small one!_ "

For a second, I mused at the sound of the Dashade's native language--it almost reminded me of some of the most ancient known ancestors of Coruscanti Basic.  _Have to poke into that_ , came the momentary thought.  _Never know when information like that might come in handy.  I'll give that to Talos to work out...he'd surely enjoy puzzling over that, even if exopaleolinguistics_ _is a slight departure for him_.

"I'm quite aware of your desire, as I reminded our intransigent little 'friend,'" I replied, far calmer than I had before when Zash usurped control.  Khem Val might be immensely frustrating at times, but at least it was _him_ in his rightful place to frustrate me right now.  That I could deal with.

" _If it were just power you sought with your strange actions, that would make sense_ ," Khem Val prodded." _Like a_ true _Sith, taking what you need_."

"So now that's a true Sith?"  I raised an eyebrow.  "Interesting.  When I first met, you essentially accused me of being honorless and cruel, of taking what I hadn't earned--without even _knowing_ me, I might add.  Yet now, when you learn that's _not_ my way, you're displeased.  Given the numbers your prior master, Tulak Hord, slew--"

The Dashade glowered.  " _Do not speak his name, you unworthy little creature, or I will make your draining a slow, suffering one!_ "

"Need we _always_ come back to that subject, Khem?  You should leave yourself some room to change your mind.  Your _true_ mind, not that abomination sharing lodgings with you.  After all, the two of us happen to be in complete agreement on the utter vileness of what she's done.  Let me _help_ you; I mean that.  But I must ask again, why is it your master's deeds are acceptable to you, yet when I act according to my own honor, that is somehow unacceptable?  Are you just disappointed that my death toll is falling short?"  I paused for a second.  "I'm serious, Khem.  We have to put up with each other for now, and I ask you for the sake of getting through this situation to help me understand."

" _There is honor_ ," Khem Val growled. _"And then there is foolishness.  You are often a fool._ "

"Am I.  Well, I suppose it often looks that way to the eyes of the world," I admitted.  

And in the environs of the Sith Empire, it wasn't hard to see why.  It had always been the way of the powerful to tear down the weaker ones in their quest to control the Force.  To be anything but a beacon of fear and death risked drawing attention to oneself.  It risked leaving unslain enemies to rise later.  And yet...that _wasn't_ the end of the story.  It _wasn't_ the only way.  I had done enough things that haunted my sleep.  But why acts past ought to seal my future decisions, I failed to comprehend.  When the opportunity came to do better, I _would_ , no matter the doomsayers of two fearsome Force orders.  

"I fear you'll have to resign yourself to further foolishness until I can free you, Khem," I told the Dashade.  "It seems I've become as set in my ways as...well... _you_."

" _Your ways are soft, Little Sith_ ," Khem Val hissed.

"Yet my enemies seem to have consistent trouble striking a deathblow, even when my heart actually stops beating," I reminded him, evoking my failed confrontation with Darth Thanaton, Zash's master who had decreed that as the apprentice of a disobedient Sith like Zash, who failed to follow old tradition to the letter, I ought to die.  __

_Hah!_ I thought to myself as usual.  _The damned irony--not even sentenced to die for my_ own _offenses!  He doesn't even know or care why_ I _fail his little test of orthodoxy!_   Somehow that made it even more ignominious, not being given the chance to stand up and answer for _myself_ before the seat of power.  Now _that_ would be a death Thanaton could truly honor me with, if it gave me the chance to speak my words before the Dark Council itself.

"Certainly my continued survival is with your assistance, and the rest of the crew," I acknowledged "but my point remains.  What I'm doing is not just keeping us alive, but _winning_.  Foolishness is wasting blood on petty power plays and vendettas instead of where it matters.  The sooner we can have done with Thanaton's farce, the sooner we can get our little piece of the Empire back on track."

The Dashade chuffed--this time it was truly him--with crude dismissal.  " _The Empire hasn't changed.  Anything you hope to gain by defeating Thanaton won't last.  And if you free me--_ "

"Yes, yes, I know, you'll suck the Force right out of me.  You'll _try_."

Khem Val's beetling brow furrowed.  " _Yet you..._ care _, about getting rid of Zash._ "

"Of _course_ I do!" I exploded.  Something snapped inside my boots, a painful discharge of Force lightning between my toes.  I reined it in, lowering my tone just a bit, pacing to dispel the rest of the wild energy.  "No one deserves to be locked up as a slave, especially inside his own head!  I'll not stand for it, Khem.  I _will_ find a way, and when that time comes, I'll formally release you from my service to be your own man."

I hated it--the thought of any being, even _this_ being, being a bound manservant to me, one who _knew_ what slavery and freedom each meant.  It made me sick, just as it had made me to see what that slavedriving cult leader Darth Palladius had done to the street people of Nar Shaddaa, and to know that thanks to just how much of their critical faculties Palladius had drummed out of these people, the only way to get Palladius out of the picture was to deceive everyone with a manufactured groundquake and _take his place_ at the head of the cult.  I had laid for them a more benevolent way, that in my absence they would at least take warning of anyone who sought to use them as pawns in gang battles--and I had also taken Rylee Dray aside and let her know that as soon as I had defeated Thanaton, she should begin to lead her people away from the veneration of Sith power and towards the beyond.  "I've already paved the way for the Cult of the Screaming Blade," I thus reminded Khem Val.  "I am a man of my word, and I _will not_ go back on that for either of you."

" _If you do--beware._ "

"I hope it won't come to that," I replied, my tone low and solemn.  I released a breath slowly through my nose, then said, "I hope that you'll do better with yourself as a free man than you did bound to others' service, or enslaved by Zash.  I can only say that if I _do_ have to strike you down, it will be because your choice to challenge me is _entirely_ your own.  Not because of _her_.  Consider that, Khem.  I mean that not as your master, but as one man entreating another not to abuse that which he _will_ be given."  Was it me, or had I seen a flash of... _something_ different in Khem Val's eyes when I referred to him not as a creature, not as a beast, but as a man?

Whatever it was, it fizzled out too quickly for me to hope to interpret it by Force or even by eyes alone.  " _The witch is right about one thing: you are_ not _a Sith worthy of my old master._ "

"Perhaps I choose to be a Sith worthy of something else instead," I murmured, addressing myself and even the Force I sought to use, more than I addressed Khem Val.  "And _that_ I will pursue with a fire every bit as intense as Tulak Hord, even if I chart a different course than him.  And part of that course is that I will _not_ let you stay bound to follow it forever.  Even if that comes at my own peril.  This I swear."

For a moment--just a moment--silence.  


**Author's Note:**

> Soundtrack: "[The Earth Will Shake](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Nn835_T0G0)" by Thrice


End file.
